One of the most spectacular sights this world has to offer transpires
every single day, without fail. You can have the front seat, if you so wish. No, it's not the fireworks at Disney World, but
it is a close call. This event, however, has been a ritual for millions of
years before man had the insight to appreciate its ethereal charm or the
technology to decipher its essence. It doesn't wait for an audience nor care
for the lack of it, but always returns for an encore.
We are here today, a consequence
of a serendipitous event that instilled the breath of life on this planet. The
rise of the gaseous ball of light is not only a magnificent visual treat and an
assurance of continued life support system, but also a wakeup call that we have
one less day in this plane of existence to accomplish a lifetime of ambitions.
The harsh reminder is softened by the glow and warmth of new hopes, challenges
and opportunities.
Let there be light, not just
because someone said so, but to ignite the thirst for knowledge, illuminate the
path ahead of us and brighten our lives.
As Mother Earth gracefully dances on her toes to the cosmic
ballad, I salute thee, Adithya, O life giver, the zeitgeber, Ra, Helios for a new dawn
that I can cherish and celebrate with every being on this planet, a place we
all call home. Peace to all :)
I'll leave you with some glimpses of this greatest show above the planet....
Sunrise above Mysore, behind Chamundi Hills
Sunrise at Nandi Hills
Nandi Hills
The silhouette of Rajendra Vilas Palace on Chamundi Hills, Mysore
When AR Rehman received his Oscar for original score this year, he said “I was excited and terrified at the same time”. I had thought it was an utterly ridiculous statement. Karma, I guess, I kind of felt the same when I woke up on the 22nd of April, 2009. Excitement was for the fact that I would defend a thesis I had worked so hard to build. The nervousness kicked in to the possibility that the defense wall might crumble down later that afternoon. When Martijn and I walked into Vrije University Amsterdam main building, the display on the monitors announcing the event only enhanced both the feelings. The writing on the wall was there to see…it was for real now.
There was something else that was real – it was a glorious sunny day… ideal for a book or bhaji on the beach. The black smoking suits might not have been the appropriate apparel for the day, but it was an essential part of a ceremonious occasion. The fact that we resembled a Zubin Mehta or a Lorin Maazel, ready to wave our wands to create philharmonic orchestras with our jackets on and like waiters when we took them off, made the whole thing very amusing. A paranymph is similar to the best man of a wedding and takes care of all the arrangements leading to, and support morally during, the thesis defense. Both Martijn and Alexander were gracious to be my paranymphs, put me at ease and did a wonderful job of making sure that things were on schedule. Everyone was so supportive and said nice things to assuage any remnants of discomfort before the event.
The beadle (an usherer and preserver of order during the thesis defense ceremony) came to the Promovendus room (green room for graduating PhD students) to brief Alexander, Martijn and me about the course of proceedings and we were led to a chamber where the Rector Magnificus (Dean) and the thesis committee were apparently discussing how to make my life a one hour miserable vanishing act. The Dean read some lines out of the bible to the effect that one should not do evil things and be responsible for not only our acts but also of our ancestors and the generations to come. I guess it was an indication that then would be the best time to bribe them for a degree, but I was too shocked to realize the significance and the moment was lost :)
As we left the chambers towards the main hall where the defense would take place, we made a nice procession - the beadle leading the group in her flowing robe, a cap and a clanging sceptre; the professors in the committee with robes and caps; the assistant and associate professors with somber black suits and the three of us at the rear in our penguin costumes. The aula is a very impressive structure that can seat about 800 people.As we walked down the long aisle, it was good to see that a few friends and colleagues had taken their valuable time off from work to be with me on that day. The committee went to their specially designated seats on the far left of the stage. The beadle led us to the right side of the stage where the paranymphs sat on either side of the podium while I stood behind it to face the committee opposite us.
Science is thankfully no longer the isolated elitist lighthouse of the bygone centuries. Popular science books, television shows and the internet have had their share in spreading the knowledge. But it is important that there is a dialogue between the society and the scientists. Although it is considered a challenge to get the ideas across to the laypublic in a coherent fashion, I think it’s a good exercise and a reality-check for the scientist to see how the research could be valuable to the society. So, I really liked the concept of this brief layman talk where the scientific work is viewed in a larger perspective. I hope that the 10 minute talk helped people understand what the thesis was all about.
The formal defense began just after this with the Dean and the committee moving over to the center of the stage. All the committee members started off congratulating on the thesis and then went on with their questions. The first one was a real toughie conceptually. Subsequently he asked me to design an experiment that would decipher some of his findings which apparently could be explained by using his own techniques. The second opponent’s questions were a bit trickier and I wish I could have shown the model I had prepared. It is a very complex idea to put into words and I needed to either draw on a blackboard or show him the powerpoint slide of the model. But the screen was already down and I just rambled on. The next three opponents had some hard questions but I was able to hold the fort.
At the end of a grueling hour, the beadle came in to the aula and took her sweet time to rap her sceptre and call out “hora est” (time’s up). That signified the end of the defense. Then we all walked back towards the chambers for a closed session of deliberation. While the committee was deciding my future, Alexander, Martijn and I sat outside like three kids who were waiting for the headmaster to come and give us (just me in this case) a good hiding. After we sat again at the head of the table, the Dean announced that the committee had decided to grant me the PhD. I felt like taking that jacket off, wave it around, do a jig and clap with joy. Instead, I put on a cool face, smiled at everyone as if it was my daily routine to drink high tea in closed chambers with people wearing 19th century robes. Aren’t we all slaves of the society?
We moved back to the aula in the same order with us three lagging slightly in the rear to chat openly. On the stage again, the Dean officially proclaimed that I had received my Doctorate degree. He requested my promoter, Matthijs Verhage and my boss, Christiaan Levelt to sign the degree that bore the insignia of the University. It was transferred into a crimson tube of a receptacle by the beadle. Matthijs handed me the degree after reminding me the rights, privileges and the responsibilities that come along with the degree. Christiaan performed the laudatie(eulogy)and recalled nice things during the time I was in his lab and what he thought were the reasons for this marathon of a thesis. The Dean officially closed the event and the beadle walked us all out of the aula, this time, the paranymphs and me leading the group. The Dean, professors, colleagues and friends congratulated and we made some pictures near the podium.
We then headed for the reception at Basket, on University campus. I was able to chat with friends and former labmates at leisure here amidst blocks of cheese and mustard sauce, hapjes, peanuts, drinks and an occasional ball that dropped in from the ‘beach’ volleyball group playing in front of the café. After changing into less formal clothing, we took the metro to Wibautstraat for dinner at India Roti Room. Although the waiter thought he was too funny, the food was pretty good. After winding up a traditional meal of samosas, mango lassi, panneer khas, kurmas, tandoori choice, basmati pulao while listening to Jagjit Singh in the background and Benny Lavaon Christiaan’s mobile, we walked down to De Doffer for the party. The labmates had made a quiz about me and had Susan Boyle either grinning, wearing a 3D goggle, a mustache or both with the goggle and mustache. The questions were fun, but most of the time they were downright embarrassing, but fun to others :)
At the Basket... and at India Roti Room
The day brought down curtains on a very memorable phase of my life during which I had the opportunity to learn a lot scientifically as well as socially. It was tough to be away from family and most of my friends. But I met and made friends with many interesting people, some of whom were around to wish me well. It would have been complete if I had all my family and close friends on that day with me. But you were in my thoughts and I thank you all.
There is an insightful saying in the ever-exciting world of PhD students, which might disgust those who are not in it. But it is very deep and philosophical. Roughly translated, after shedding some fundamentals of communication etiquette, it reads “thesis is like feces - try to get rid of it now than later”. You might think that someone who was ambitious and competitive enough to get into a PhD program should know what a new-born smart ass baby does without thinking or much effort. But hey, don’t be judgmental. We are artists and need the time and freedom to express our thoughts. We will let you know when the painting is done.
A PhD is not just a search for scientific facts that can be corroborated with experimental design and results extrapolated into coherent and valuable information. It is also a soul-searching journey of personal faith and conviction towards life-changing perspectives. It teaches you to respect this grandeur creation and turns a staunch egghead to be modest at the limited awareness of the universe. At the same time it allows you to derive happiness in the expanse of knowledge that greater people before you have deciphered. It makes you think global with the implications of your microscopic dabble at the unknown. It expects you to appreciate the opportunities that are both made and lost. Most of all it teaches you to be persistent with your belief and principles but not to the extent of being fool-hardy. It is in effect a crash course in life!
We learn a lot of things as we grow up and grow old. The information has to be stored somehow to prevent each of us from re-inventing the wheel of experience every single time. What are the factors involved in memorizing and storing the wealth of information in the brain? After carefully analyzing thousands of DNA-profiled subjects who were humanely decapitated and their brains respectfully studied, this thesis concludes that a signaling molecule, brain derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), can be attributed to store this information in small compartments of a neuron called “dendritic spines”. A thesis to this effect was written over a period of one year in three different continents and finally submitted a few weeks ago. It might be a very small piece in the enigmatic functioning of the brain puzzle, but it’s a start. The fact that we are far from decoding this puzzle should not keep us from trying. That’s what these 6 years have taught me.
It all began on a cold winter day in Amsterdam a few years ago and the culmination of this long journey will take place on the 22nd of April in Amsterdam, when I will defend my thesis. Thanks to all of you for being part of this journey either directly as fellow-passengers or as by-standing well-wishers.
The strips are from PhD Comics that almost every grad-student can relate to and find solace in at the ups and downs of this fraternity.
The huge hovering cloud of unhappiness had settled down all around. In the back seat of this black hearse was the forgotten notion of all the wonderful things that life had to offer. The new mantra that emanated to be one with the cosmos was the constant chanting of all misfortunes in this self-centered, civic-less world. The woeful self-pitying narrations continued to hound anyone who was around to listen, oblivious to the lack of any sign of empathy or interest. It was as if the stories had a mind of their own and relished drowning in their sea of misery. The dark veil of shrouded heart-wrenching bickering was too stifling.
To state simply, I was disillusioned. As many of us do when we are sick of this characteristically unfair world, I went into a mode of introspection. The first impulse was to do something "rationally" drastic before I got sucked in entirely! So, I decided to resort to the most common, time-tested way out. But where would one go if they had to run away? My initial reverie was the unknown, and hence the exotic, civilization-free, soft whiteness of the Himalayas; the place we were told that saints made their abode and people rediscovered their identities; where conifers were the backdrop of five major rivers that flowed to make this land the spiritual heart of mankind. The thoughts flowed and fused to the calm waters of Ganga in Varanasi, the city where the Lord decided to settle down; the seat of Knowledge in medieval times but now home to floating, half-charred bloaters. No... I would go to His Holiness, wait at His door till He thinks that I am ready to transform into the insightful person I ought to be before I receive the sacred mantra. But wouldn't I still have to deal with people? Or should I take refuge in the isolated comforts of Science, that has been my religion for a decade, and go to the land beyond two mighty oceans, to indulge in concepts that meant next to nothing? Dash it all! I was running away from all the materialistic things that made people go crazy. Had I already turned into the person whom I was chastising?
What makes people run away from things, anyways? Is it the lack of courage to face the loud music? Is it the forlorn hope that it was going to end in a whiff of ash or termite-food? Or was it the realization that there was no where to run? Being disillusioned is way better than being confused on top of it!
If this was it, what the heck was life all about? There are many who believe that they have figured out Life, what it means, how it should be approached, what the priorities are, the insights to goals and measures of success. Imagine a burst of light, followed by millions of years of darkness, billions of gaseous entities moving away from each other at mind boggling speeds in a space filled with ethereal nothingness. And one fine day in a small bluey gooey place, there was a very fine line between forms that had “life” from those that didn’t. Just like that… there was Life. How does one conceptualize this, let alone trying to explain the vagaries and innocuous details of what transpired an entity to cease believing in itself and choose an identity to become the prototype for something that can make more of itself? Was this some kind of a sick joke to put a few life forms on this watery rock to make them realize and feel miserable at their inadequacies to understand what the game was all about?
There was no way that I would feel happy resorting to any of these escapades. How can I find peace by running away to a Kashi or a Rameshwaram? There would always be a “what next?” I had to look for that place from which there was no return, the elusive Paramapadam or Eutopia, where things were orderly and peaceful. But how am I to look for the path to such a place when there is so much negative unrest in this world? Or is that the idea – the strength to persevere and fight these forces is what makes you eligible to finally fuse to reverberate and be one with the Source? Then isn’t it a struggle of an individual against all odds? When one is so preoccupied battling for this chi, how does one even realize if there was a helping sign board in the form of a Guru that shows but only the path?
The Sanatana Dharma (read as Hindu Philosophy) edifies that the meaning of life cannot be comprehended in one lifetime. The constant refinement in ideas and deeds to result in knowledge of a higher order should finally culminate, by traveling in space and time towards attaining perfection, in Nirvana. But the law of averages should have caught up to show us at least one person who was in his last stages to reach the highest pedestal, the man who was in peace with himself and the world; the man without any miseries and conflicts….. Hmmm!!!
The circle of human life – birth, education, marriage, raising children, old age and eventual death - has been going on for ages. From the first steps towards freedom, to the last intelligent thought; from the first experience of putting the sense organs into full blast, to the final journey of a long undisturbed sleep - surely, there should be a meaning to all this! But when you look around, there is not a single soul who can truly say that he understands contentment. So, why do people undertake this stupid ritualistic act when they very well know that they do not possess the tools (or make use of it comprehensively) to appreciate the concept? It is scary and disgusting to think that generations of people have been perpetrating these acts without any hint of a goal in mind! So, shouldn’t the greatest regret a man can have be that he was born?
Most delving thoughts are very tiring. And after each such long sojourn, you hit the ground with a shuddering realization. If you query the very existence of man, what do you do? Was this extensive thought process a waste of time? I think not.... it is a good check to see if the inquisitiveness of a child still remains and blends with the experience of what one has learnt growing up. More importantly, this allows one to appreciate life and to approach it more pragmatically. Now that man is born, he has to restrain from exercising one option - that of looking backwards. Those left to choose are the dual core issues of whether he wants to sit and brood about the unfairness of the world or get his act straightened up in the limited time he has. It is very easy to get lost in the sea of life which takes you up on an exuberant crest only to bring you back down the trough with a sickening thud the next minute! Recognizing that these two extremities are but just a façade is the first step towards the long road to decipher the unknown. In these few short hours of a very individualistic journey, the innate feelings of the social animal have to come to the fore. Choose your personal motto to make you and those around you happy, safe and content. Life, however short, is what you make of it!
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