The huge hovering cloud of unhappiness had settled down all around. In the back seat of this black hearse was the forgotten notion of all the wonderful things that life had to offer. The new mantra that emanated to be one with the cosmos was the constant chanting of all misfortunes in this self-centered, civic-less world. The woeful self-pitying narrations continued to hound anyone who was around to listen, oblivious to the lack of any sign of empathy or interest. It was as if the stories had a mind of their own and relished drowning in their sea of misery. The dark veil of shrouded heart-wrenching bickering was too stifling.
To state simply, I was disillusioned. As many of us do when we are sick of this characteristically unfair world, I went into a mode of introspection. The first impulse was to do something "rationally" drastic before I got sucked in entirely! So, I decided to resort to the most common, time-tested way out. But where would one go if they had to run away? My initial reverie was the unknown, and hence the exotic, civilization-free, soft whiteness of the Himalayas; the place we were told that saints made their abode and people rediscovered their identities; where conifers were the backdrop of five major rivers that flowed to make this land the spiritual heart of mankind. The thoughts flowed and fused to the calm waters of Ganga in Varanasi, the city where the Lord decided to settle down; the seat of Knowledge in medieval times but now home to floating, half-charred bloaters. No... I would go to His Holiness, wait at His door till He thinks that I am ready to transform into the insightful person I ought to be before I receive the sacred mantra. But wouldn't I still have to deal with people? Or should I take refuge in the isolated comforts of Science, that has been my religion for a decade, and go to the land beyond two mighty oceans, to indulge in concepts that meant next to nothing? Dash it all! I was running away from all the materialistic things that made people go crazy. Had I already turned into the person whom I was chastising?
What makes people run away from things, anyways? Is it the lack of courage to face the loud music? Is it the forlorn hope that it was going to end in a whiff of ash or termite-food? Or was it the realization that there was no where to run? Being disillusioned is way better than being confused on top of it!
If this was it, what the heck was life all about? There are many who believe that they have figured out Life, what it means, how it should be approached, what the priorities are, the insights to goals and measures of success. Imagine a burst of light, followed by millions of years of darkness, billions of gaseous entities moving away from each other at mind boggling speeds in a space filled with ethereal nothingness. And one fine day in a small bluey gooey place, there was a very fine line between forms that had “life” from those that didn’t. Just like that… there was Life. How does one conceptualize this, let alone trying to explain the vagaries and innocuous details of what transpired an entity to cease believing in itself and choose an identity to become the prototype for something that can make more of itself? Was this some kind of a sick joke to put a few life forms on this watery rock to make them realize and feel miserable at their inadequacies to understand what the game was all about?
There was no way that I would feel happy resorting to any of these escapades. How can I find peace by running away to a Kashi or a Rameshwaram? There would always be a “what next?” I had to look for that place from which there was no return, the elusive Paramapadam or Eutopia, where things were orderly and peaceful. But how am I to look for the path to such a place when there is so much negative unrest in this world? Or is that the idea – the strength to persevere and fight these forces is what makes you eligible to finally fuse to reverberate and be one with the Source? Then isn’t it a struggle of an individual against all odds? When one is so preoccupied battling for this chi, how does one even realize if there was a helping sign board in the form of a Guru that shows but only the path?
The Sanatana Dharma (read as Hindu Philosophy) edifies that the meaning of life cannot be comprehended in one lifetime. The constant refinement in ideas and deeds to result in knowledge of a higher order should finally culminate, by traveling in space and time towards attaining perfection, in Nirvana. But the law of averages should have caught up to show us at least one person who was in his last stages to reach the highest pedestal, the man who was in peace with himself and the world; the man without any miseries and conflicts….. Hmmm!!!
The circle of human life – birth, education, marriage, raising children, old age and eventual death - has been going on for ages. From the first steps towards freedom, to the last intelligent thought; from the first experience of putting the sense organs into full blast, to the final journey of a long undisturbed sleep - surely, there should be a meaning to all this! But when you look around, there is not a single soul who can truly say that he understands contentment. So, why do people undertake this stupid ritualistic act when they very well know that they do not possess the tools (or make use of it comprehensively) to appreciate the concept? It is scary and disgusting to think that generations of people have been perpetrating these acts without any hint of a goal in mind! So, shouldn’t the greatest regret a man can have be that he was born?
Most delving thoughts are very tiring. And after each such long sojourn, you hit the ground with a shuddering realization. If you query the very existence of man, what do you do? Was this extensive thought process a waste of time? I think not.... it is a good check to see if the inquisitiveness of a child still remains and blends with the experience of what one has learnt growing up. More importantly, this allows one to appreciate life and to approach it more pragmatically. Now that man is born, he has to restrain from exercising one option - that of looking backwards. Those left to choose are the dual core issues of whether he wants to sit and brood about the unfairness of the world or get his act straightened up in the limited time he has. It is very easy to get lost in the sea of life which takes you up on an exuberant crest only to bring you back down the trough with a sickening thud the next minute! Recognizing that these two extremities are but just a façade is the first step towards the long road to decipher the unknown. In these few short hours of a very individualistic journey, the innate feelings of the social animal have to come to the fore. Choose your personal motto to make you and those around you happy, safe and content. Life, however short, is what you make of it!
